July 1st, 2019

Internet cafe! I feel a lot better after visiting and got updated on some goings-on in the world. I was very interested to hear about the debates. I am glad to hear Biden was called out, but I still can’t get behind Kamala Harris. I really do wish I could have watched. An interesting collection of sites was blocked today by the Tajik government. Some ones students in our group noticed: Instagram, blogspot.com (but not blogger.com), New York Times. Apparently, it depends on the day what sites are blocked and there are no guarantees.

We also got our first poem to memorize in class. It’s by Rudaki about friendship, as a lot of the poems are. Also, I am not good at memorizing things as anyone in present during my ill-fated foray into acting class can attest. But memorizing poems tends to play an important part of Tajik education.

We also have a test coming up on Friday. The sheer amount of words we are expected to know is stressing me out. We have learned in class over 300 words by estimates (flashcards have long become impractical) alongside a verb list of about 60 and three textbook chapters of words. That’s more words than was on my Latin final this year after 8 odd months of study, not two weeks!

On Gender in Tajik Society

            Gender roles are very important here and distinct. While it is partially due to my being a guest, I am not expected to help in the kitchen and actively discouraged when I offer. Some female students in the program are starting to be allowed to help. The customs around marriage also reinforce these divides, as I have written about earlier (see On Marriage 6.25.19), Men and women being friends is almost always seen as romantic. My host mother after witnessing me walking next to a female student in the program made a joke about her being my doosti-duxtar (literally female friend, but more often used to mean girlfriend or boyfriend). In class, this awkwardly comes up a lot. We were talking about words for friends today with one of our teachers (the male one if that matters) was explaining how there is one word for a female friend of a girl and another for a male friend of a boy. When we asked if there was a word for an opposite gender friend, he said we could say doostee duxtar/pisar (girl and boy respectively) (which is used for girlfriend/boyfriend as in romantic partner) or we could say another word which meant fiancé. He then went on (jokingly) to refer to me and the (female) student who initially asked by that term. It became very clear that Tajiks don’t really see a way of men and women just being friends.

            We were randomly split into two groups of students and move around the two classrooms with our group. My group happens to be me and five girls (young women?). This teacher also jokes about this. He has said I am “rich in (of) women” (boy-ee duxtarho) and said I must be happy being the only boy with five female students. It’s funny I guess, but I don’t think any teacher in the US would make comments like that. It reinforces these patriarchal ideas of women just being there to be married and owned almost. Not to mention, very hetero-normative. Unsurprisingly, though, Tajik society is very hetero-normative. I haven’t heard anything explicitly homophobic, but my Tajik is not very good. I may update this as I understand more of what people are saying.